" I nodded. "But he never does anything there." Really?" Mr. Snyder considered this. "Why not? I mean, uh ... Why would he ... touch you ... in the cafeteria and not while you're playing football? It seems like..." Cause Coach would get mad." Inspiration struck me. "Everybody knows if someone says something or does something like that, Coach is gonna call his dad and kick him off the team." I spoke like it was the gospel truth, and even though Coach hadn't exactly said that, I was pretty sure everyone understood that it was true."But I thought ... In the boys locker room, I mean..." Mr. Snyder had been thinking all the boys had been doing all sorts of stuff with me in the locker room, I could see it on his face."The locker room?" I shrugged like it didn't matter. "Coach didn't let me change right away. I always had to wait in his office until everybody else was done."That wasn't really true since I'd pretty much gotten bare buck naked before practice, and the only reason I went to. All this song and dance and I was on a kid's treasure hunt? I had a pretty serious day ahead of me, and maybe it was appropriate that it began with farce."Well, don't just giggle like a fool, Larry, dig it up," she said impatiently.Still laughing, I knelt down and followed her instructions. "And this is your idea of security, sugar?" I chortled. "Remind me never to give you my life's savings to protect. I mean, all it would take would be a curious squirrel—" Hey, fuck you and the horse you rode in on," she snapped, sounding genuinely offended. "Just fucking dig, asshole."I got my laughter under control quickly. This was sure no time to piss her off. As I continued digging—which wasn't as easy as it sounded, the ground was pretty thoroughly packed—I thought it wise to back off. "I'm sorry, honey," I told her contritely."It's OK, darling," she said after a minute. "Look, I was a little rushed. I did it that last night; I'd just finished setting Bobby up with the cops and the reporters.
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